I have times when intense deeply dysphoric moods creep up and I feel incapacitated with despair. If I don't do anything they rapidly worsen. There's very little I can manage in those states but find simple painting gives a sense of moving through the intense experiences. I can cathartically pile on colour to dissipate the sharp, jagged, destructive emotions, then re-center to smooth them out into things like this
Therapeutic process, not outcome...
Dysphoria requires finger painting
When the emotions get into the deep dark depths, it's really hard to re-centre and get any grip on the present or sense of moving through emotions. Managing a paintbrush is too much. I can't pull myself out with breath. When my mood drops really low you can cling onto persistent distraction or try and sit with, feel and heal the emotion.
Melting into pure agony,
Waves of darkness crashing into my heart,
Mind overwhelmed with negativity,
Incapacitated with deep despair each moment seemingly never-ending abysmal pain and torture,
Struggling with everything,
Feeling like everything is too hard,
Each tiny positive step a momumental gathering of all my strength
I finger paint...
I won't bless you with the wonderful finger-painting outcome
You can make cards while you're at it, turn your pain into something...
Each day, sitting with the low moods trying to rise above the mud with a little more light
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